At 59 years of age, I didn’t expect to be suffering with chronic pain throughout my body, uncontrollable spasms of muscle pain, brain fog, and a host of other health issues. These struggles began to take its toll on my mental health, which became another issue I then had to treat.
During an appointment, my GP asked if I’d heard of the condition fibromyalgia. She handed me a list of 32 most common symptoms for it, and I ticked off 30 currently affecting me. My GP gave me contact details for support groups and further information on fibromyalgia and what it actually entails.
For the last 18 months I’ve been going through a period of grieving, as I felt I'd lost the old me. I lost my mojo, my laughter and my enthusiasm for life. I could no longer sleep more than three hours a night if I was lucky, go on long walks with my dog or swim more than five metres without pain bringing me to a stop. Each day was unpredictable, and I never knew how my body was going to function, until I opened my eyes each morning.
My mental health suffered as I felt people didn't understand. Just as I did initially, I felt some people had predetermined ideas of what fibromyalgia was.
I began to question how I was going to do my job as a Team Manager. I spoke with my manager at the time, who was very open, and I was so thankful for her support and level of understanding. She spoke to the Health and Safety Team, who provided equipment so I was able to work more comfortably. They also referred me to occupational health, to ensure they'd covered all areas of support. My manager advised I could change my working hours, and she encouraged me to share my condition and how it affects me with my team, so they’d be able to understand when I was having a rough day, or needed a bit more time to complete a task.
Little did I know at the time; these were the first steps to the rest of my new life. I had to re-evaluate everything, from getting up in the morning, continuing to care for my partner, to changing my ways of working. Almost overnight, it felt I'd gone from a fiercely independent person to one that became dependent on others.
I found my motivation was mainly my family, especially my grandchildren, but finding new ways to enable me to do my job kept me feeling grounded. Trust me, there are good days and bad days, but ultimately, I’m still my own journey.
It’s important that we remember not every disability is obvious and that everybody’s journey is incredibly unique.
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